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Tuesday, 16 December 2014

It's Called Management For a Reason

Hindsight really is eye-opening. If I knew then, what I know now...

Continuing on my journey of becoming a healthier me, I had my aha moment one evening. Having chronic pain is a bitch. The pain alone isn’t the problem; it’s the emotional and physical fatigue from planning my life around my illness. I’m only 52 and my body is failing me.

I have Fibromyalgia, Myofascial pain and a tailbone issue. The icing on the proverbial cake, was a diagnosis of diabetes, another chronic condition.

Going to the grocery store was already a chore I detested. Now it meant having to manage (manage + meant = management!) time more efficiently, while reading labels on everything from fresh groceries to frozen and pre- packaged goods. I felt like Toula’s father from My Big Fat Greek Wedding. “The word management comes from the Greek word…”.

I am slowly settling into a new way of eating, thinking and being. Coping with my illnesses is a process. And it’s not one I choose to be defined by.

Monday, 8 December 2014

Okay Then: My Latest Diagnosis


A few weeks ago I was given the diagnosis of Type II Diabetes.

My reaction: "Okay then". I'm not sure if it was the shock, or a "what else can be wrong with me" attitude. The doctor looked at me with surprise written on her face.

"Pardon," she replied. "Are you okay?".

"Am I okay? A ludicrous question. No, I'm not okay. What I am, however, is used to not having any symptoms and suddenly going from zero to a hundred". She went through the numbers that had led to the diagnosis. My mind was racing. I had had an appointment a week and a half prior for blood work, as I had been feeling blah. Was it my fibromyalgia? My chronic tail bone pain? My anxiety and depression?

You know how they say 'hindsight is 20-20'? I had noticed I was experiencing blurred vision, more frequent visits to the bathroom, and exhaustion. I'd assumed this was connected to my fibro. But it turns out, it wasn't.

I've since processed the news and am making changes in my lifestyle. Baby steps:

-I detest drinking water, but I am drinking a little more than I did.
-I'm also cutting sugar out a little at a time.
-I read product labels and am more mindful of my food choices. (But I don't keep a food diary, because as a recovered anorexic, I find that very triggering). I also took a nutrition class at the local hospital's diabetes education centre.
-I am trying to come to terms with adding yet another medication to my already full pill container.
-Testing my blood? Ew. A necessary evil that I have to master.

Still trying to put one foot in front of the other.

Photo source: CoHoBags on Etsy